10 Fears Every Codependent Needs To Know, And the EFT
Tapping Tips To Fix Them
During a session with a woman
struggling with an abusive husband, she asked me, "As far as that
acupressure thing you do, do you rub the points and manipulate them to work
better, or what?"
I said, "No. Actually, you
use your fingers to Tap on each acupuncture point. ….Like tapping on a window
to get someone's attention…"
".....But the trick is to
have in mind what you are upset about while you Tap so you can tell if it
worked or not".
"Do you have any issues
you want to try Tapping on?
She says she's been trying to lose
weight. But she ate donuts for breakfast this morning and was still feeling
guilty about it.
So I said, "First, let's Tap on
the feelings of guilt so you see how this works, and then we'll go from there.
"OK", she said.
So, first we Tapped on Guilt.
I asked her on a SUDs scale of 1 to 10 how much guilt she had - and she said it
was a "9".
We did 1 full-round and got it down
to a "7", and then did a short-cut and got down to a "3".
She felt "over it".
Just to make sure, I said,
"Think back to this morning, you should be ashamed of yourself for eating all
those donuts".
She was calm, "Yeah, but
it doesn't bother me anymore".
Perfect. This is how I like to see
my clients "get it"; by experience.
She said now that the guilt was gone
she did have this other issue in her head.
I asked her, "How does that
issue make you feel?"
She answered, "Irritated
and angry!" She went on to tell the story…
"I gave him a ride to the
airport for a business trip where he'd be gone for over 2 weeks. We were stuck
there waiting for 4 hours. And, instead of spending those last few hours with
me, he was on his phone the whole time with his friends, some of them female, thanking
them for all their support. But I was the one all along helping him get this
job, and I was the one who drove for hours and did everything to get him ready,
but I had to just sit there doing nothing."
I asked, "On a scale of 1
to 10, irritated and angry you are"?
She said, "9".
So we Tapped on anger. She
went from a "9" down to a "5" and then down to a
"3".
During those rounds, I taught
her "Freestyle Tapping", where you Tap on each point and say whatever
comes to mind, and really get into it.
She even laughed a little
during the Freestyle Tapping. There's something funny about 2 women Tapping on
themselves while saying, "..that mother-**** ass
&%^&*" "I'm so (*&*) pissed right now"!! It's a huge relief to get that all out.
10
Fears Codependents In Abusive Relationships Have To TAP On:
- Fear of feeling worthless
- Fear of feeling abandoned,
unwanted
- Fear of being a failure or at
fault
- Fear of leaving ex-asshole and
then he changes for the better and finds someone else
- Fear of staying with ex and being
strung along for another 5 years.
- Fear she is wrong
- Fear she did something wrong
- Fear it was all her fault, fear
she failed at fixing it or being good enough
- Fear she would breakdown or have
an uncontrollable outburst and embarrass herself
- Fear of being socially
ridiculed/looked down on, for such a huge mistake in judgment.
Know that there are thousands of women going through the same thing right now, tapping on their issues, on their way of renewing their (love) life. I know one more, and I have a feeling she is going to be feeling and doing a lot better by the next time I see her.
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Thank you!
JP Bailey, M.A.
Interested in EFT for Codependency Recovery?
Get Relief from Emotional Pain & Relationship Issues!
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