Do You Throw Yourself Back to The Wolves - For Closure?

DO YOU THROW YOURSELF BACK TO THE WOLVES LOOKING FOR CLOSURE IN YOUR RELATIONSHP?

Why would we ignore signs and go back in for more? Why would we throw ourselves into conversations that leave us more injured than we were to start with? Why can't we stand it just to let abuse happen and not talk or resolve it or get an apology or the truth or expect security again?

We want to know why. Why, why why did they do it? We want to know what is so terribly wrong with us that would make someone want to stab us in the heart so terribly when all we've ever done is love them with all our heart, mind, soul and body, our car, our home, our bank account?

What if the closure can NEVER come from the one that is abusing you?

What if they use ongoing mental abusive tacktics to keep us stringing along bleeding and throwing us off the trail by pulling the rug out from under us everytime they turn to us to finally respond?

We only wanted an apology.

And maybe to understand why they did it.

And we most of all want closure because it doesn't seemed closed to you. It seems to speak to a bigger overall issue that you can't put your finger on. Your attention is now about 99% on him/her and your relationship with him/her. 1% is on going to the bathroom. You're barely eating. You zombie through the usual chores of living. You are completely focused on him. Your life seems to be hanging by a strong he/she controls and is on hold. You can't move on from yet so you wait. You wait a very long time and alot of that time is focused on alot of mental rumination about what happened.

You see red flags and warning signs, but you won't listen to your friends. You are embarrassed to talk about it because you know they will not understand, they will just look down on you for being there and taking it.

You know you can figure this out yourself or better yet you know how to be ultra good so he/she will figure out how wonderful you are and be nice, honest, loving and kind again. What attracted you to him/her in the first place? Write it down and save it for later.

Right now you are looking for closure so you have the urge to start or esculate because you just want to be heard. You want to be heard and understood and your experience validated. That and an acknowldgement that what they did was wrong or unfair and that you are due an apology and even should have it made up to you with it never happenging again.

That's all normal and good. It may not be realistic to get all this from him/her at this time.

So the best thing to do is share. To find a trusting, supportive group where you can share with others who really do understand it because they are going through it too and some of them have gone through it years ago and have recovered alot more now. They all will nod their heads and welcome you and accept you unconditionally.

This may be online or off and anonymous or by topic, but there are lots of people have found and formed groups to process and recovery from the affects of abuse of any kind from any time in one's life.

There is life after abuse and recovering from it. Theres a path of recovery and there are the tools of tapping that will help you the most the fastest and the emotionally the easiest many of us were fortunate to have found.

Try to put more attention on yourself or your kids or your job or your art or hobbie and find a yahoo group that will help. Use a new email name.

I wrote an article that might also help called: "Detach From Users, Losers & Abusers - How to Detox from Toxic People with EFT". I will post it soon.

Be gentle with yourself.


Jeanette P. Bailey, MA is the founder of Recovery Tapping

It is her mission to help people clear up the issues that keep showing up in their relationships so that they can move forward in positivity and live the life they’ve always dreamed of.

For writings, books, blogs and more please visit http://www.recoverytapping.com

What Do You TAP On When You Can't Think Of An Issue? Easy.... Check Out A REAL FEELINGS LIST! |EFT Tapping|What To TAP on

What Do You TAP On When You Can't Think Of An Issue?


Easy....

Page 1 is A REAL FEELINGS LIST and the RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS LIST below.


FEELINGS LIST - Grist for the Mill to Tap On When You Can't Thing of Anything!


Print that out and circle every feeling that gives you a little jolt or charge inside.

Notice there are positive feelings too, draw a box around the positive feelings you want more of.

There are some pretty charged words on that list, some may trigger you.... But, if you're done with being stuck with them and you're up for it, circle those words a couple times and get ready to do some Tapping on what they trigger in you so you can get free of them holding you back in life.

Just reading a word that hits the nail on the head, can cause a body sensation and open up Pandora's Box.

Page 2 is "RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS"  which goes perfectly with my Tapping on Codependency book.  For this one, I would suggest listing more than one person for each word that you resonated with.

Remember, you may pick a word you feel now and you're thinking of a recent break-up, but digging deeper, you see you felt the same way about other people in your past, and if you thought about it, you'd inevitably find yourself thinking of a relative that made you feel the same way.

Hooray, you found a pattern, an inner part, an identity, a belief within you that you can heal yourself. You can re-process and re-organize any pattern, part, identity or belief with the right tools.

The fastest way to find out which relative or memory it stems from is to ask yourself, "What does this word remind me of" and have an open mind as you see who or what comes up.

So, you want to TAP on BOTH the recent person that made you feel that way, and the relative that made you feel that way when you were younger, and took it to heart, and started to believe what that must have thought about you.

Recovery Tapping says, "What they think about you is wrong".

Clearing out and healing the Part of you, that up to now, believed they were right, is the key to transformation.

With that belief about yourself gone, you can get back to who you really are, Have compassion for yourself. Be nice to yourself.

Because the present YOU knows the TRUTH about you, and what anyone else thinks of you is of no consequence really because thoughts can't affect you.  Their thoughts..., which you can never hear or know or realize are mostly focused on themselves.  Other people's thoughts can't hurt you.  What you think they believe about you does not have to hold you back.

Once you've circled the words that feel intense or give you a negative charge, then begin one by one tapping on them. I'm sure you know how to tap by now and have already tried it, but if not or you are new, then I suggest you first go back and learn EFT and try Tapping on several things first and see how it works.

Once you have the confidence that with Tapping you can handle any feeling, you're ready to start digging up some old, buried ones.

I hope these feeling word and relationship problem words lists help you to uncover some things that you can start tapping on today that will change your life. I hope that you too can stop the direction they are pushing you in, and instead clear them up and with a clear head, reorient yourself to the here and now and decide what you want.

Knowing what you'd rather have instead is the key to making it happen.  You have to know what you want. Well, its hard to know what you want with all these negative feelings and thoughts in the way. So the trick is to Tap on these one by one, and as you do, you feel neutral or less upset by them, you're thinking is clearer.  You can start choosing what you want instead.  Choose loving yourself. Choose seeing your skills and talents and see yourself in the near future practicing them. Choose self-compassion. Choose to be yourself. Choose to love and accept yourself and be free to do what you really want in life.

Then the real adventure begins. You will still have issues come up, but they'll be new ones, not the old stuff constantly never letting you out of the gate.  When new issues come up now that you're out there living life and taking risks and being yourself more and more, you have tools to deal with them and you keep going.

Living is experiencing.  Experiences are the only thing you can count on to have a least partial control over. You can steer yourself in any direction you want in life. There are stumbling blocks out there, its not always easy, but at least you're in the game instead of hiding out of fear and old emotional stuff holding you back.





JP Bailey, M.A. Interested in EFT for Codependency Recovery? Get Relief from Emotional Pain & Relationship Issues! Blog: www.RecoveryTapping.blogspot.com FB: https://www.facebook.com/jp.baileyma Twitter: https://twitter.com/RecoveryTapping Kindle Book: "EFT for Codependency"