What Do You TAP On When You Can't Think Of An Issue? Easy.... Check Out A REAL FEELINGS LIST! |EFT Tapping|What To TAP on

What Do You TAP On When You Can't Think Of An Issue?


Easy....

Page 1 is A REAL FEELINGS LIST and the RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS LIST below.


FEELINGS LIST - Grist for the Mill to Tap On When You Can't Thing of Anything!


Print that out and circle every feeling that gives you a little jolt or charge inside.

Notice there are positive feelings too, draw a box around the positive feelings you want more of.

There are some pretty charged words on that list, some may trigger you.... But, if you're done with being stuck with them and you're up for it, circle those words a couple times and get ready to do some Tapping on what they trigger in you so you can get free of them holding you back in life.

Just reading a word that hits the nail on the head, can cause a body sensation and open up Pandora's Box.

Page 2 is "RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS"  which goes perfectly with my Tapping on Codependency book.  For this one, I would suggest listing more than one person for each word that you resonated with.

Remember, you may pick a word you feel now and you're thinking of a recent break-up, but digging deeper, you see you felt the same way about other people in your past, and if you thought about it, you'd inevitably find yourself thinking of a relative that made you feel the same way.

Hooray, you found a pattern, an inner part, an identity, a belief within you that you can heal yourself. You can re-process and re-organize any pattern, part, identity or belief with the right tools.

The fastest way to find out which relative or memory it stems from is to ask yourself, "What does this word remind me of" and have an open mind as you see who or what comes up.

So, you want to TAP on BOTH the recent person that made you feel that way, and the relative that made you feel that way when you were younger, and took it to heart, and started to believe what that must have thought about you.

Recovery Tapping says, "What they think about you is wrong".

Clearing out and healing the Part of you, that up to now, believed they were right, is the key to transformation.

With that belief about yourself gone, you can get back to who you really are, Have compassion for yourself. Be nice to yourself.

Because the present YOU knows the TRUTH about you, and what anyone else thinks of you is of no consequence really because thoughts can't affect you.  Their thoughts..., which you can never hear or know or realize are mostly focused on themselves.  Other people's thoughts can't hurt you.  What you think they believe about you does not have to hold you back.

Once you've circled the words that feel intense or give you a negative charge, then begin one by one tapping on them. I'm sure you know how to tap by now and have already tried it, but if not or you are new, then I suggest you first go back and learn EFT and try Tapping on several things first and see how it works.

Once you have the confidence that with Tapping you can handle any feeling, you're ready to start digging up some old, buried ones.

I hope these feeling word and relationship problem words lists help you to uncover some things that you can start tapping on today that will change your life. I hope that you too can stop the direction they are pushing you in, and instead clear them up and with a clear head, reorient yourself to the here and now and decide what you want.

Knowing what you'd rather have instead is the key to making it happen.  You have to know what you want. Well, its hard to know what you want with all these negative feelings and thoughts in the way. So the trick is to Tap on these one by one, and as you do, you feel neutral or less upset by them, you're thinking is clearer.  You can start choosing what you want instead.  Choose loving yourself. Choose seeing your skills and talents and see yourself in the near future practicing them. Choose self-compassion. Choose to be yourself. Choose to love and accept yourself and be free to do what you really want in life.

Then the real adventure begins. You will still have issues come up, but they'll be new ones, not the old stuff constantly never letting you out of the gate.  When new issues come up now that you're out there living life and taking risks and being yourself more and more, you have tools to deal with them and you keep going.

Living is experiencing.  Experiences are the only thing you can count on to have a least partial control over. You can steer yourself in any direction you want in life. There are stumbling blocks out there, its not always easy, but at least you're in the game instead of hiding out of fear and old emotional stuff holding you back.





JP Bailey, M.A. Interested in EFT for Codependency Recovery? Get Relief from Emotional Pain & Relationship Issues! Blog: www.RecoveryTapping.blogspot.com FB: https://www.facebook.com/jp.baileyma Twitter: https://twitter.com/RecoveryTapping Kindle Book: "EFT for Codependency"

How to find a good (loving, kind) man (for once) for complex-trauma (toxic family) survivors who are tired of the selfish ones

How to find a good (loving, kind) man (for once) for complex-trauma (toxic family) survivors who are tired of the selfish ones.

From the time I can remember first dating, I was always dating guys who were dysfunctional, or drug addicts, or cheaters, or worse.

As time went on, despite the fact that I wanted a family, my “man-compass” and my “man-picker” was completely skewed.

It just got worse over time. As an adult in my 30’s I wasted a lot of time in relationships that left me feeling drained and exhausted.

They cheated, they used me, they blew my money, they partied and they didn’t work much.

One was abusive and one was stalker-like and one was just plain crazy.

By the time I was hitting my 40’s I was so DONE.

I really WANTED change, but I had no idea how to change or what to change. I didn’t know what I was doing to attract these guys, so I had no idea what to do to attract anything different.

Luckily, I had begun my recovery journey work on myself which led me to using EFT Tapping on all my upsets and issues and it became clear to me that it was now time to start Tapping on my relationship issues.

After a year of doing just that, I took my personal program of Tapping on Codependency and wrote a book called, “Emotional Freedom Techniques for Codependency Recovery”.

But I did something else too….

I did an extensive RELATIONSHIP HISTORY so I could find my patterns.

I really had no idea the wealth of information that would come out of a Relationship History until I did one.  I knew in a vague, general way that I had some sort of dysfunctional relationship pattern, but I was completely stumped on what they meant.

The Relationship History really showed me in black and white my patterns, my beliefs, and the red flags I should be paying more attention to.

I also learned 3 important things about myself that I really wasn’t aware of:

1. I had a belief deep down that good guys wouldn’t like me
2. I didn’t think I “deserved” a good guy despite the fact I had worked hard on myself to become not only a good person, but an educated, employed one who helped others.
3. I thought only ‘bad boys’ would put up with my shortcomings.

Once I saw these beliefs and came to terms with them (accepted them), it was time to TAP on these beliefs so I could clear and replace them with updated, healthier, more accurate beliefs.

A self-inventory also helped me.  

I wrote down all my good characteristics. All of my strengths. All of my accomplishments. And, I wrote down all of the comments I heard from my friends and co-workers who liked me.

This was the foundation of my positive self-beliefs and EFT TAPPING was the method I used to clear the negative beliefs and program in my positive beliefs.

I was becoming more of the real me by doing this.

I was clearing away my past issues by doing this.

I was getting ready to date again, in a new way, with self-esteem and belief that I deserved and was worth a good man.

But I was not able to do that without a Relationship History so I would know what to watch out for.

I also had to do one more thing to get ready to date in a new way.

I needed to know what I really wanted in a man/relationship. So I wrote down a few lists I got out of a dating book:

1. List what I want in a man/relationship
2. List of things I never wanted to put up with again
3. List of negotiables, things I could work with because no one is perfect

Then I dated without straying from my lists.  

My lists were like laws, if someone had any traits or behaviors from List 2, then they were out of my dating pool. No “if’s”, “and's” or “but’s”. They were refused any further dates and I moved on to the next date.

One reason why it's important to date several people at once over time is that you see you have options and it makes it easier to say “no” or “sorry, I’m not interested” to the ones who did not meet my List 1 traits.

So. to sum up, over a course of about 15 years, I had 3 serious relationships. All ended in 2 years or less. All ended with them cheating or being abusive. Two were ones where I literally had to move away to get away from. One gave me 6 stitches in my lip..

All of them left me with a mess to clean up, drained and exhausted.

I’d spend months and months alone in between trying to work on myself and get my life together.

But eventually I got lonely and desperate and would fall for the next (bad) one.

Like I said, after 15 years of this, I decided to try something different, so I did what I explained above.  Then I dated.

I can’t teach you how to date. But there are plenty of good dating books out there with awesome tips. I know, I read at least 3 of them and came up with what worked for me.

But none of it would be possible without that Relationship History.

I decided to create a sample Relationship History Chart for you to fill out so you can start to flesh out your patterns and red flags too.

I think it would have been impossible for me to change my deeply-ingrained beliefs if it were not for EFT Tapping to help me clear them up, fast.

So, here is how to find a good, loving, kind man for once if you are recovering from complex trauma or toxic family patterns and are sick and tired of the selfish, abusive ones:

1. TAP on your issues and upsets so you have control over how you react and deal.
2. Write a list of what you really want. (TAP on all negative self-talk that comes up when you look at what you want).
3. Do a Relationship History.
4. Do a self-inventory of your positive traits you have to offer.
5. Write up your 3 Lists for dating.
6. Date.

That’s it in a nutshell.

I did and 9 months of fun, happy dating later, I met my soulmate. We have been together for 8 years now. It’s never been abusive. We are both completely loyal. We both go to work every day and we are always there for each other. He’s my best friend and I really think he saved my life in more ways than one.

We’ve had our share of fights and it's not perfect, but we’re not perfect beings. Dealing with relationship issues is another story. Relationships, no matter how good, tend to bring up our own issues that still need work. So if you continue to catch these and work on yourself, and there is real love, then you’ll do alright.

Here is the: Relationship History Chart Sample

Here is the: Video Training for the Relationship History Chart Example

Good Luck -N- Wise Choices

JP

P.S. (Please share this, you never know who really needs this in their life right now and they’ll be happy you did.)

Please SHARE this article using Social Media Buttons Below This Blog Post.

Thank you!
JP Bailey, M.A.
Blog: www.RecoveryTapping.blogspot.com
FB: https://www.facebook.com/jp.baileyma
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RecoveryTapping
Kindle Book: "EFT for Codependency"

Welcome to Recovery Tapping - Tap Out of Fear and Into Choices - 

Yeah, so I got my weekly Depression Wellness Recovery Art Class started up and going.

I've had a few people show up, a few regulars and one drop-in.

Plus I've been spreading the word to people every day so I expect a steady growth in members.


Anywhoo.  it worked out well to start with the Symptoms of Depression first, and then put them into 1 of 3 categories (body, mind, emotion), which serves to justify the use of daily GRAPES.

Then we jump into GRAPES with the handouts I already described last blog post, and then go into negative thinking and reframing negative, critical, depressed thinking into wellness affirmations.

Along with that we put in coloring or doodle pages in-between and just also decided to add a doodle border to each worksheet moving forward.

I got the bones of it, but the members of the class also help create this thing by adding in their two cents as we go and their feedback on what I've put together as well.

Everyone leave happy. They smile more. They are glad they came. They got their social support goal met for the week and they like it.

This gives me great personal pleasure and satisfaction.

Now.., how do I bring my 3 recovery binders full of energy psychology and recovery with positive psychology "stuff" into the picture?

Answer: I don't know, just one step at a time.

It's ok if one step at a time feels like a slow crawl.

Like I'm behind and gotta catch up and get all this stuff out there...

But I have to be in the moment today and go with the crawl.

Embrace the crawl.

I've learned to just embrace all the shit that happens, because shit it suppose to happen.

Embrace it, feel it, mindfulness it, and clear it up in time too.


And that's what the next part of the class is all about:  how to deal with the shit that happens.

That's where EFT Tapping come in. We will learn EFT in 5 Easy Steps and start applying that to our negative thinking and feeling and get some movement there.

And also, this is where MINDFULNESS come in too. We will practice it together in several ways, not just the healing way.  We will mindfully color and doodle without realizing it half the time. We will learn SOMATIC MINDFULNESS so we will get used to going within and feeling somatic markers and beyond for those interested, into communicating with them.

Then there is the whole Energy Moves thing, from Donna Eden and some basic Qi Gong moves to teach the class so they can get their ENERGY EXERCISE in their day. To get their Energy up and activated the lazy man's way - by sitting there in your chair and doing Energy Tapping and Energy Moves and FEEL BETTER

Of course from there we will move into physical exercise brainstorming of what each one likes to do ad aim for 15-30 minutes a day. Daily movement. Daily eating healthy as you can. Daily recvery plan actions.

That's the point. Create a daily recovery plan that is easy and fun to do and easily do-able. That's the point, because in depression everything is HARD.

Which reminds me, we're going to also talk about the Upward Spiral, a book I found that explains the theory and neural-science perfectly.

GRAPES is a planned path for stopping the downward spiral of depression and starting to slowly increase the positive things in life (rather than try to just 'fix' the problems and negatives).

GRAPES is your way up the spiral out of depression for relief and recovery.

 So that's it. It's going and growing and where we want to go each week.



NEW:  I've decided to upload the hand-outs to this blog so everyone else can learn it too.

I have various handouts for mental health recovery.
I have all the handouts in draft for this new depression wellness class I'm talking about above.

I plan to put the class handouts into a booklet for everyone who shows up for the class.


 I'll scan those in to my computer as pdfs that I hope I can easily load onto this blog. I may have to email them to myself first or put them in G-Docs first, IDK, but I'll get to that bridge.

Until next week... Take Good Care and eat your Daily GRAPES.

Thanks for reading.

Love & Hugs
Jeanette










by J.P.Bailey, MA
Mental Health Recovery Specialist
Author of  "EFT for Codependency"
(Look for it on Amazon)