I'm wondering what sort of mental tricks people use in order to deal with difficult people.
I admit my mental tricks don't always sound all that nice, but they stay in my head and I don't use them against people.
Right now I'm dealing with a boundary crossing person. Kind of the story of my life. I repeatedly have these issues and it oftentimes doesn't end well. :-/ (Wanting to hurt myself, the nearest object within reach, hurt myself with the nearest object within reach, or just get in my car and drive as far as I can.)
And usually what happens when people force themselves into my life is that I freak out. I panic.
But really, this does nothing to help the situation as these people have no concept of healthy boundaries.
I set, enforce, re-enforce boundaries. Sometimes I slip up-----we all do. But in the end, what matters most is my mental state, and not having meltdowns when boundaries are crossed. Being able to keep thing stable in my mind is the most important thing.
My current mind trick is to just envision boundary crossers as Cartman from Southpark. That scene where he's ranting "I do what I want!!!" just cracks me up because he's kind of sad-----and the guys just kind of disregard him in general. If I think of it like this, it reframed things for me so that I am able to see that the shortcomings are in them, not me. I no longer feel weak because frankly I'm cracking up and thinking "oh god, that's just sad!"
I'd like to have more mental tools in my kit. Whatever they may be, from real life, pop culture, etc. I just need simple tools that I can use to pull my mind out of that "I need to run to the far ends of the earth" mentality.
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JP Bailey, M.A.