Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Tweet This!

Recovery Tapping - Heal Your Past - Create Your Future!


J.P.Bailey, MA, EFT-CC
Emotional Freedom Coach

Monday, November 1, 2010

Difficult People Making You Uncomfortable?

Recovery Tapping - Heal Your Past - Create Your Future.

There are many types of "Difficult People". They go by different names, Emotional Vampires, bullys, difficult, toxic, unsafe, drama queens, users, Axis II Personality Disorders, chronic complainers, manipulators, energy drainers and some other words not so nice.

But the focus here is not on them.

It's on you.

Sure dealing with energy suckers can be draining. Their behavior abusive, controlling, demeaning. The emotional reaction you have can be very distracting. The meaning that you place in what it means about you when they do or say the things they do and say is where your crisis-opportunity lies.

But, they can be the best seminars in town. Teaching us about our buttons and limits, about what we expect and can't accept, about the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. Stories that can be edited.

When you focus on the lack, the pain, the anger, you are stuck in the unresolved hurt that has not moved through the learning process of acceptance.

When your focus is on them and your emotional reaction, your energy is stuck there. It cannot move on, it cannot process. Energy is like food; if not processed it rots.

Energy needs to keep moving, like blood. When your energy spikes it is a teachable moment. Teaching you about your weaknesses, your strengths, your issues, your values, your fears, your boundaries.

I have heard that in school you learn a lesson and then you are given a test. But in life you are given a test and then you learn a lesson. I have also read that once you learn the lesson, the difficult people cease being a problem in your life. The real lesson is to resist the urge to focus on them and look at you - even if it's not your fault and you did nothing wrong. I said focus on you - not blame yourself.

Vampires suck. Energy.

But you allow it. You invite them in. You offer your neck. Until you want something different and learn a difficult lesson. You teach others how to treat you by what you allow. Are you accomodating? Are you here for their amusement? Do you want to change?

Then get used to being uncomfortable. Get uncomfortable. Get familuar with uncomfortable. Get comfortable with uncomfortable.

Get used to saying no.

Get used to saying no and then saying no more.

Get used to uncomfortable silences.

Get used to not caring what others think about you.

Get used to being seen as the bad guy, the one who won't give in or give up and won't play the game anymore. The one who won't let the other one win so they aren't uncomfortable.

Face your challenges and feel how uncomfortable they are.
Face your fears and feel how scary they are.
Feel your hurts and feel how enraged you are.
But do nothing. Say nothing. Just breathe.
Just be. Just be here. Just be here now.

Step out of your comfort zone.
Learn a new step.
Learn the two step. The side step. Learn to block. Learn to bounce back.
Learn to be uncomfortable.

Where do you feel it in your body?
Describe it.
Send love to it.
Imagine moving it 3 inches down from where ever it is.
Learn to move what you feel in your body.
Learn to send love to places in your body that feel uncomfortable.
Breath into it. Relax.
Stop holding your breath.

Stand in your center, keep your knees slightly bent so you cannot get pushed over so easily. Relax your shoulders but raise your chin. Look certain. Look forward.
Move forward. From where ever you are, you can take a baby step forward.
Stand there and take over that spot. Tune into something good you know you are. Imagine it is 100 times greater than you think it is.

Imagine something more that you want that you think you lack. Imagine it as a coat and put it on. Try it on for size. Get used to it. Keep putting it on.

Imagine something uncomfortable that you hate and peel it off of you. Take it off like shedding an old skin. Peel it off and throw it on the floor and let it pile up in front of you. Continue peeling until it is all off. Put your new coat on. Send love to the pile on the floor. Move it 3 inches forward. If you can move it 3 inches forward you can move it a million light years out into the vast universe beyond never to be seen again.

Sweep the floor. Clear a nice spot. Make a circle. Start throwing in everything that you want for yourself and your life and then step into it. Own it. That's your power circle. You can create one where ever you like. You can put a chair in it and make that your power chair. Sit down. Power up.

Did you know that intention moves energy?

To move your energy is as easy as imagining it moving. It works best with heat, like a laser or fire from your heart or the warmth of your hands. energy usually isn't cold, for example rubbing your hands together creates a warmth, a heat.

So imagine sending that heat into your energy, where ever you feel it in your system (your body, your mind, your spirit, your aura, your meridian pathways, your space, your energy system)and get that heat to make that energy move. Try it. If it doesn't move then just keep sending energy into it. Use your attention and your intention and warm it until it melts and starts to drip, ooze, flow or evaporate. It can be different for everyone or for every time you try it.

Take for example that uncomfortable feeling. Imagine you are in the most uncomfortable situation you can imagine. What do you feel? Where do you feel it? Send energy there and warm it up until it can move.

Once it is heated up and soft and light it can move anywhere it wants it. Just allow it to move. Move it anywhere in or out of your system. Your energy has a mind of its own and knows where it wants to go. Allow it to go there.

Now mix and match these energy tools and play around with them until you get it right for you.

So that the next time you are sitting there feeling uncomfortable. Don't just sit there. Send love to it. Notice it. Send warm energy to it from your hands or your heart or your mind. These are ancient energy tools passed down from the ages. The only problem with a feeling is when it is stuck. It's usually stuck because it is blocked. A block in the energy system can be felt as a body sensation. Put your attention on that area and notice it like it is a little child that needs a warm blanket. Once the child is warm, or has rested or has gotten attention or has been fed it naturally wants to get up and move again. When it needs you it will come near and get your attention again.

Give it your attention. Hold the intention that you will attend to it and you will feed it warm, loving energy.

Now if you give it an honest try and actually DO this for about ten minutes you will feel a change. Sometimes it takes longer. But once it is healed, its permenant. It's gone. It's no longer there. So you can heal yourself. You can heal your uncomfortable feelings.

After you have given it an honest try and have felt it move and have tuned into it. Then go back to that very uncomfortable situation that you imagined before and imagine it again, and this time see what you feel and where you feel it and how different it feels. It may feel a little less intense. But still a twinge is there, so send some love to it again. And again focus on it and breath warmth into it.

By the second, maybe sometimes third time, the uncomfortable situation won't bother you anymore. Ever. You can even try to make yourself uncomfortable about it and it just won't work. You have removed the block.

It is taught in meditation to focus on the breath. Breathe yourself out forward, come back to self and breath in. In and out like that for a period of time like 30 minutes. Every time a thought pops up you let it pop up, you let it go, you don't pay too much attention to it, you can notice it or ignore it but you focus your attention back on your breathing in and out. So this is the same thing. Whatever thoughts pop up while you are sending energy into your feelings, you can think them for a minute but for this to work always bring your attention back to sending the heat into it and getting it to move. You don't have to rush it, but you move it along, like sheep, time to go, time to get up and move, go out and play, come back when you need something, but keep the herd moving. You are the shepard of your energy.

And that is your energy lesson for today boys and girls.


J.P.Bailey, MA, EFT-CC
Mental Health Recovery Specialist
Energy Psychology Practitioner

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Emotional Vampires

Recovery Tapping - Heal Your Past - Create Your Future!

Here is just a little taste of what tips I can share with you right now to protect yourself from emotional vampires - those toxic or unsafe people, ones that drain you. We call them emotional vampires because they suck the energy out of you and you feel deflated, doubtful, confused, defeated, helpless and depressed. You lost your natural state of calm, conscious confidence.

Here are some energy moves that can help.

First the "Zip Up" - just like you are zipping up a jacket, you put one hand right about where your pubic bone begins, and you zip up with your hand until you get to your chin point or right under the lower lip. Repeat 3 times.

This is your governing meridian and if you Zip it up, it can protect you so that you are not so vulnerable and being a volunteer to be someone's target. It is also a way to be more conscious of having a boundary up and around you so you will be more conscious of who you let in.

When you have a shield up, it is very hard for anyone to get in, unless you want them in. Zipping up your energy is a good idea whenever you're going somewhere where you know an emotional vampire will be. You need to be prepared ahead of time by reviewing your boundaries, your time limits and your exit strategy. Zip up your energy three times every time you leave the house or about to go somewhere new or where you are unsure of how safe you will be emotionally.

Another energy move is a sweeping motion down from the back of your head, down your spine and off the tailbone at the end. Think of it as a 'swish' and that you are sweeping the energy down and off of you. So starting at the back of head, with your hand sweep down as far as you can, try another position or switch hands and keep going down your back, it's ok if you can't reach every single inch - just imagine it as you sweep the best you can. Or better yet, get a partner who will sweep your back 3 times, and then you sweep theirs. This is your central meridian.

While you are sweeping the energy off of you, think of the negative energy that got attached to you by being with a toxic person while you do it. This is also helpful for general stress or other accumulated negative energy.

Another energy move is called the Triple Warmer Flush. The best way to describe it without a picture is to pretend you have long hair and you are putting your hair behind your ears. Starting around the temple area, or the bone on the side of your eye toward your ear, you swish your first finger around your entire ear. When you get to the bottom of your ear, go straight down the side of your neck and then down your shoulder and all the way down your arm and off your ring finger. Practice a few times until you learn it.

Flush the Triple Warmer meridian three times to flush out negative. Think of it as sweeping the floor, you want to clean away the dirt and have it clean. Think of it as a stream of water that you need to sweep down to help it run clear and stronger. That is how energy runs through meridian pathways. It needs to move to stay healthy.

If your are really stuck somewhere and can't do these energy moves, you can always put your hands in your lap and tap on your finger points. (Drumming your fingers on a table is close enough to activate those points.) Also see "Covert Tapping" in my new book coming out soon.


J.P.Bailey, MA, EFT-CC
Mental Health Recovery Specialist
Energy Psychology Practitioner

Acu Points for Recovery Tapping

Recovery Tapping - Heal Your Past - Create Your Future!TAP OUT OF FEAR AND INTO CHOICES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

J.P.Bailey, MA, EFT-CC
Mental Health Recovery Specialist
Energy Psychology Practitioner

Monday, September 20, 2010

Your Purpose - It's In Your Hands

Recovery Tapping - Heal Your Past - Create Your Future!

Your Purpose - Its In Your Hands

I've been watching web videos and listening to speakers and seeing books and coaches pop up all over these days with the word "Purpose" in them.

I wondered how many of us are living our recovery on purpose or what part of our purpose is in our recovery or even vice-versa.

Your Purpose - It's In The Palm Of Your Hand, I thought would be a good blog today.

Do you know your purpose?

Do you know how to find out what it is?

Do you think it's limited to one thing only or is it a series of things with a theme - or are there more than one theme even?

All this pressure to know what our purpose is so we can go out and live it. Can we live fully in today without knowing what the heck our purpose is?

In my later 40's I am finally feeling clear on my life mission and purpose - and it does jive with what I thought it was at 20 and it is still an evolving thing but it does seem to have a theme running through it.

I made up this line once: "My Purpose is to Help You With Yours" - isn't that a great line? But am I a "Purpose" coach? Do I want to be limited to helping people find their purpose - and then what?

No, someone else can use that line if they want to. My line for over 10 years now seems to still be "Heal Your Past - Create Your Future". And I think that is my purpose. As I heal my past, I become an expert at it and turn that around to give to you which in turn creates my future as becoming more and more of a Recovery Tapping Coach.

So let's get to it then. Let's Tap today on our Purpose.

Here are some Set-Up Statement Suggestions:

"Even though I don't know what my purpose is, I love and accept myself."

Ahh, that feels good just to relieve the pressure of that expectation to know what my purpose is so I can hurry up and catch up with what it's "suppose" to be.

"Even though I haven't always lived my purpose, I love and accept AND FORGIVE myself."

Ahhhhh, that really feels good to forgive myself for not always being in alignment with my "purpose" whatever that is.

"Even though my purpose is still unfolding, I love and accept myself."

"Even though my purpose keeps changing and evolving, I love and accept myself."

"Even though just thinking about my purpose causes me anxiety, and I thought my purpose was suppose to be fun and inspiring, I love and accept myself anyway."

"Even though I'm suppose to know what my purpose is

"Even though I'm suppose to be all excited and pumped up about my purpose

"Even though I feel like taking a vacation from my purpose

"Even though I don't seem to have a purpose

"Even though I don't want a purpose

"Even though I'm not sure what having a purpose really means

"Even though I feel pressure from the enlightened, heart and soul - driven recovery oriented secret loving new age positive thinking people say I MUST have,

"Even though I'm just little ol' me with no clue

"Even though I know my purpose but I'm running from it

"Even though I know my purpose and I don't always like it

"Even though I know my purpose and it's a burden

"Even though I know my purpose and it doesn't always work out

"Even though I wish I had another purpose

You get the picture,

Keep tapping as you list all the various mixed feelings that purpose and having a purpose stirs up for you and just clear all that stuff and get it out of your way.

When you are done with that you can, if you so choose, tap into some new choice statements such as:

"Even though I am clear/not clear on my purpose today, from now on I choose to follow my heart regardless

"Even though I have no purpose, today I choose to let that be ok

"Even though I have no purpose, from now on I will be open to finding out what it might be

"Even though I have no purpose, I now want to have one so I practice going within to seek it out or until it finds me

"Even though I don't know what my purpose is, I now choose to turn that over and ask my Higher Power to reveal to me - in a way that I can understand - what my purpose is

"Even though I didn't always follow my purpose, I now choose to follow it

"Even though I have no idea how to follow my purpose, I now choose to start pondering that and even guessing at what that might look like

So, go ahead and tap on what feels right for you or make up your own statements, preferences and choices and let that sink in.

Relax into the exhale and let go. Your body will automatically inhale so you don't need to worry about it. Feel your body as it inhales, get in touch with your body. When you exhale and relax, get in touch with your mind, let your mind send out a nice long exhale and let it go as far out as you want it to go. When your body inhales again feel yourself in your body, in your own skin, and center yourself, be ok with yourself. And out again, relax with the exhale and be ok with what is. Be ok with your imperfect body and mind.

I always Tap until I get that BIG urge to take a deep breath and a big sigh or yawn ans stretch it out. Get up and start moving and get your energy up for the day.

Whether you are living on purpose or by accident or by a calendar or on the fly, if you are living your purpose or not, if you know what it is or not, it's ALL ok.

You are ok.
You are enough.
Today it is good enough.
Your life is good enough for today.
Your life purpose is good enough for now whatever it is or is not.

Keep an open mind.
Be true to yourself.
Follow your heart.
Tell the truth as fast as your can.
Tap into whatever is good and true for you.

The bottom-line is, whatever today's "topic" is:


To Your Recovery, Keep Tapping

J.P.Bailey, MA,
Mental Health Recovery Specialist
Energy Psychology Practitioner

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Psy-Qi-Soma Spiritual Empowerment Protocol

Recovery Tapping - Heal Your Past - Create Your Future!

The Psy-Qi-Soma Spiritual Empowerment Protocol

This Energy Psychology Protocol is one I developed that I call "Psy-Qi-Soma Energy Empowerment Healing" (PSEEH). Psy for the mind, Qi for energy and Soma for the body. I thought I'd have fun with it and pronouce PSEEH as "see" since the 'p' and the 'h' are typically silent in many English words.

PSEEH was designed to work with the emotional meaning behind the energy points. For example in acupuncture each meridian has an emotional correspondance related to it, both positive and negative. The Lung Meridian is associated with grief and joy. Same with the chakra system of energy; the third eye point is associated with seeing on an inner or higher level or being blind to it.

For the PSEEH Protocol Series I took the postive emotional component and designed a keyword or phrase for each point. Then I matched up an empowering topic such as motivation, self-esteem or weight loss and designed the statement to fit the topic with the emotional keywords in mind, thus giving it an empowering effect.

So for example the Heart Chakra is about Love. In the Motivation Empowerment Protocol the Heart point statement is: I love to be motivated. For the Self-Esteem Empowerment Protocol the Heart statement is: I love to value myself. For weight loss empowerment: I love my body.

Below is my Psy-Qi-Soma Spiritual Empowerment Protocol. The word 'spiritual' can mean many things to many people. I suspect that it means a completely different thing to each and every one of us for we are all unique individuals. That is why I designed the statements with a mixture of spiritual words for you to choose from.

Feel free to substitute any spirtual name with what you are comfortable with. (It does not matter if you say "God", "Higher Power", "Universal Love", "Allah", "Soul", "Spirit", "Angels" etc.) The intention and meaning of spiritual acknowlegement and connection between you, your energy and your spirituality are the same.

Along the left hand side are the meridian and charkra points to Tap on or simply hold or touch, while saying the statements with Spiritual Empowerment in mind. So, without further ado here is...

by J.P. Bailey, MA

Heart --- I love myself and my Higher Power.
Third Eye --- I see Love in my life.
Eyebrow --- I allow my Soul to be in charge of my life.
Side of Eye --- I choose to have Spirit in my life.
Under Eye --- I trust that my Higher Power loves me.
Under Nose --- I accept God's love and attention into my life.
Chin --- I have God's Love and Wisdom within me.
Collarbone --- I am proud of myself and my intuition.
Under Arm --- God/dess is loving toward me.
Right Rib --- Spirit goes ahead of me and prepares the way.
Thumb --- I have faith that my Higher Power can handle my problems.
First Finger --- I ask God to remove the blocks in my path.
Middle Finger --- I ask the Universal Spirit to co-create with me.
Little Finger --- I love myself as my Higher Power loves me.
Karate Chop --- I decide to Let Go and Let God.
Gamut Spot --- The Life force of the Universe loves me.
Solar Plexus --- Love grounds and centers me.
Crown --- Spirit sends love to me and I am open to receive it.

This is a great way to start your morning prayer and meditations!


J.P.Bailey, MA, EFT-CC
Mental Health Recovery Specialist
Energy Psychology Practitioner

Monday, August 23, 2010

Creative, Clever, Caring Types Get Down

TAP OUT OF FEAR AND INTO CHOICES by Healing Your Past and Creating Your Future with Recovery Tapping!!!

Creative? Clever? Caring? Wise beyond your years? Feel like an old soul? Do you sometimes find yourself down and out, tired, sad and blue, mentally ruminating, remembering times past, have "writer's " block - or atist block or creative block or happiness block.

Feeling Blaaa?

What's going on? We're usually so positive, so helpful, so creative and expressive. We usually can take a bad experience, process it through our system and pop out an encouraging, funny story that helps our friends when they are discouraged.

If depression is a result of not living our dreams and passions, then one must ask herself, "What is holding me back from really living it big?"

Self-doubt is a beach. You don't need to go there. You don't need to go there alone. throw yourself a life line and create your own personalized self-care plan for creative types. I have and it really works wonders. I created a mini-booklet that you download, print out, cut in half, fold and staple and it fits right in your pcoket. It's called "Wellness Management in Your Pocket" a guide to help manage those relapses of depression and other mental crazies. I give it away for free - now I have to figure out how to post a pdf on my blog so you can have it (sorry).

Feel free to email me and I can send it to you though, for now I'm at:

Ya, I know, a 'freebie' email, whoo hoo, oh well, I had to start somewhere. My new website is under construction as we speak. I'm just waiting and creating. It should be up Sept 1 and then I'll transfer my blog over there too.

Back to Creative-Depressed Artists. Check out Type 4 of the Enneagram and see if that doesn't fit you. Google it and you'll find some great (f.r.eee) stuff to read to help you leverage your strengths and switch it back around. One of the good ones is Read up on Type 4 if your a creative type who gets depressed or Type 2 if you're a helper type and like to help people.

Another reason to really understand yourself is to figure out what your natural state is. What's your true nature? It's the natural state you return back to after your other states of mind run it's course or when you're done working and you can finally relax and be yourself. It's the natural state you found yourself in at age 5 when you were playing - what were you playing with, how were you feeling to be so content and happy?

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Introverts need time alone to reenergize themselves and feel stressed if around people too much,
Extroverts need social time to reenergize themselves and feel stressed when alone too much.

So figure out your nature, figure out your social type and figure out your Enneagram Type.

Then follow my Wellness Management questions:

1. What are you like when you are your very best self?
2. What types of self-care activities do you need regularly to be your very best self?
3. What do you need to do today (and every day) to take care of yourself?
4. What inspires you and gives you the natural 'Smile of Bliss'? When was the last time you enjoyed doing that thing?
5. Care out time in your planner or calendar to give yourself some TLC.
6. Remember a goal is what you want - your action that you put into your calander and do is how you get there. If you don't do it, fine, forgive youself and move it up just like you would a dental appointment that you had to miss.
7. Stop beating yourself up. You're ok. You're enough. You're here for a reason, we need you, you were especailly invited!
8. Treat yourself with support and encouragement, love and praise. Hallalula!
9. Make a List of your Accomplishments.
10. List all the ways you are a good person and read them frequently until you just know it to your core that you are good no matter what.

What beliefs do you have that will support that action in your planner/calendar?

If I put "work out" on Friday, the belief that helps me to follow through with that activity and show up and do it, is the belief I have or the feeling I get inside about being proud to be strong. When I'm fit, and sore even, and walk tall with a strong core and good posture, I just feel proud of myself that I'm so strong, that I can do it!

What gives you that "can do" attitude? What energizes you? What can you express today that will make this world, or your tiny corner of it, a better place?

Find out what is holding you back, list all of your negative thoughts about yourself and beliefs that hold you back from living your passions and TAP OUTTA IT!!!

Happy Tapping!
To Your Recovery,
J.P.Bailey, MA
Mental Health Recovery Specialist
Energy Psychology Practitioner
Recovery Tapping Coach ------->>> Coming soon! With F&r*e%e$ Tapping Charts and pocket workbooks!!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Embrace Your Confusion - It Precedes Understanding

Hi and Welcome to Recovery Tapping where we TAP OUT OF FEAR AND INTO CHOICES!!!!!!!!

This blog will soon move to my new website, so visit me there beginning in September.

Today I wanted to talk about Embracing Your Confusion because it always comes before Understanding.

The computer and or the internet are great examples. Have you ever attempted to learn something new and got lost and couldn't figure it out and had no idea what to do next or even where to find a file? And you got so frustrated with it (really with yourself for not knowing how) that you felt like throwing your computer out the window??

Me too! Or how about getting so frustrated with not knowing that you just want to say (place cuss word here)! And just give up??

Me too!

I saw on TV a famous red-haired chef who is a really happy, friendly guy who is patient with his staff. He was asked by an interviewer something like, "Why don't you scream and yell and cuss your staff out when they're not getting it right or are behind schedule?" And he replied, "Yelling at my staff (abusing them) would be a reflection of my own self-hatred for not training them right in the first place."

Wow, what a philosophy. So when we are yelling and abusing ourselves for not getting it right, it's not that we're wrong, it's just that we haven't been trained properly yet. And "YET" means - You're Eligible To... so yet, means we are still able to have it.

When you say, "I haven't learned a thing about this stupid computer!"

Just add the word "yet" at the end and see how that feels,

"I haven't learned a thing about computers, yet."

This means you are open and KNOWING that you will learn in the (near) future as you see that it is possible for you. This is much better than hurting (abusing) your possessions, or yourself, and much better than giving up before the "Ah-Ha!" miracle happens.

They say the world began in chaos. There is even a "Chaos Theory" in quantum physics, and the theory says that if you track chaos long enough you can see patterns. Wow. Patterns in chaos. Now what does that remind me of? Hmmmmm....


The world, (we're going with the big bang idea here - if you believe in God then we're going with when God created the multi-verse with a big bang) the world began in chaos. Out of that chaos patterns began to emerge. Laws and order were established. There are the laws of nature that scientists observe everyday as to how plants grow, how weather is formed, how the earth shifts, etc. and how it is always moving, growing, changing, evolving. Never-ending change.

Sounds chaotic to me. Chaotic is just another word for unpredictable. When we don't know what's going to happen, it scares us a little bit. But when you take a moment to step back for a second, look at the big picture and you do begin to see patterns, and a sense of order and that brings a sense of calm to replace the chaos panic.

First Chaos. Then Patterns. Then Expression. Then Expanding. Whether it’s a baby being born or a new star in the sky at first it looks like chaos, and then a pattern emerges and then that pattern gives itself as expression and then that expression expands.

They say the Universe is always expanding. If it started out as tiny as an atom and grew to the size it is now, it makes sense that it is still growing. It may grow forever for all we know. The earth still grows. Volcanos erupt and land is created, the plates shift and land sorts itself out, the dirt cracks open as a tiny seed begins to bud into a little plant. It has to crack open it's shell so it can come out and live, express, grow and expand.

When your heart breaks, it mends and as it mends, it expands. So grow with it. Embrace your growing pains.

When you’re in confusion and chaos and life is a mess, relax for a minute, notice the chaos, embrace it, love it, thank it, for you know that patterns will emerge and understanding will dawn on you in the right time or all at once but it will come. It will come easier and faster if you get a little training from someone who's been through the chaos and got to the other side. But it will come none the less because you can't help but grow.

Be ok with not knowing. Know that the knowing will come.

Embrace and be gentle with yourself in the meantime.

To Your Recovery!
J.P.Bailey, MA
Mental Health Recovery Specialist (MHRS)
Energy Psychology Practitioner

Visit me soon at when I launch my new book in September. Shhh, it's a secret, only you readers even know its coming! It's going to be a big bang and make a huge splash! (I hope it helps hundreds of women and men in recovery get relief from their emotional issues that keep showing up in their relationships so they can move on to live the life they always dreamed of --- Just like I am now!!!)

Hold on and don't give up before YOUR miracle. It's coming!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Recovery Tapping for Emotional Freedom

Recovery Tapping for Emotional Freedom


Hi and Welcome back to Recovery Tapping where we "Tap" (an interesting body-mind technique based on acupuncture) to regain our Emotional Freedom.

Tapping on Emotional Problems releases the emotion so it can resolve itself, as this happens we literally watch them fade away. But what happens then?

We have a spontaneous cognitive shift. I'd like to say it's my brilliant use of tapping and that I'm a natural energy healer and it's all my years as a professional helper at work - but I've seen 10 year old kids pick it up quite fast and get just as amazing results. In fact there is this cute little "Tappy" bear that is for sale. There is a hospital in South American for children with cancer where they use Tappy Bear all the time to bring smiles and emotional relief from the stress of what they are going through.

So, all you have to do it learn the basic technique and that's pretty easy, there's even a short-cut. Memorize the 9-14 points to tap on, and aim it at anything and everything you can think of that causes you problems.

Tap on 10 issues a day and what might you look like in a year?

My entire life has changed around for the better and many others have too.

So what about that cognitive shift, what happens next. Well, once we feel calm about our emotional issue and we've tapped on it our minds can then think it through and we might accept more or feel it's time for a change or time for a new decision.

That's why it's so important to know what you want and know what you would prefer to have instead of this problem.

Dr. Pat Carrington developed the "Choices Method" which is basically tapping on your new choices. After tapping on a problem you then tap on a choice statement, such as, I now choose to take better care of myself more and more every day. You tap on that statement and at the next point you alternate it with the negative 'tail-ender' or aspect that may come up such as, "No, I won't" and you tap on that thought, then on the next point you repeat the new choice and on the next point you tap on the negative "I don't know how, no one ever taught me" and so on until you've done about three rounds and you can clearly tap on the new positive choice without any interference.

Now these are just the basics. I just go over them from time to time for the new readers. You can learn all about EFT for free at of course, and you can read my blog posts to find out more about how to use it for codependency recovery.

Many of you have sent emails and some even were brave enough to post comments, I try and answer all emails. I want to thank you for taking the risk and talking about some of the pain you are going through in relationships. It's not easy when you're alone and in pain and have been isolating and depressed for so long.

But I want you to know, Number 1 that you are NOT alone, believe me, there are thousands and thousands of us out there, seek and find each other in groups online and off. There are alot of recovery connections and books to read others struggle.

Number 2 You are OK. You are enough. You are Good Enough.

Just say that to yourself and let it sink in for a change.

Just for today you can be OK and each day a little more. I used affirmations for months that were something like this:

"Every day and in every way I'm getting more and more ok. I'm getting used to being ok. It's ok to feel ok."

Using the words "more and more" and "getting used to" really helped me because after a long depression you really aren't used to feeling ok and you don't know that you could get more and more ok in the beginning of your recovery.

In the beginning you may be numb, angry or feeling nothing but pain. That's good! Feeling is a good thing because that is easy to Tap on. It's when you feel flat and not much of anything that it might be hard to even want to try anything.

But even with that there is a Tapping solution, Tap on "Even though I don't feel anything, I love and accept myself." "Even though I don't feel I love and accept myself, I love and accept myself."

So if you are used to feeling your feelings and processing them you already have an edge. You don't try to cover up the bad feelings by forcing positive affirmations on top of them. You can just go ahead and feel your feelings and tap while you are tuned into them and watch the miracles happen.

But I wanted to get back to some of your questions. Yes, I am still currently working on "Dating in Recovery Part III" and it will be put together with Part I, Part II and Part II continued. I'm making it into a nice little booklet that I will give away for free.

A free gift just for looking at my new site I'm launching for my new book "Emotional Freedom Techniques for Codependency Recovery" which is at

OK, but what if you're going through hell right now?

There's a quote out there I heard years ago, "When you're going through hell, keep going."

Don't stop and stare.

Keep moving.

Or when in 'the hallway' (when one door closes and another one doesn't open yet), go window shopping or decorate.

Keep tapping.

Things will change and shift - they will anyway, nothing stays the same, but if you actively keep moving yourself then it will change better faster. Movement is life. Everything moves all the time. We never stop moving until we're dead. Flat lines are for dead people, so it's ok if you’re going up and down or spiraling around. Just keep moving.

It's OK to not feel OK. It really is all ok.

So what I've done below is taken a combination of several of your emails and put them together into questions you can ask yourself about being codependent and stuck and then a Tapping statement to tap on.

Do you suffer from people pleasing and feeling guilty?

If so, then tap on "Even though I suffer from people pleasing and feeling guilty all the time, I deeply and completely love and accept myself."

Do you feel guilty for things that do not belong to you or are not really your fault or your responsibility?

"Even though I take on other people's guilt, I love and accept myself."
"Even though I feel guilty just for wanting relief from my guilt, I love and accept myself.

That is just what I learned and I am learning new ways now. From now on I choose to feel free of guilt.

Do you put yourself in harm's way by being around alcoholics/addicts/abusive relatives, rage-aholics, and difficult people?

This is a tough one especially if you live with one. But you can start taking yourself out of the firing range. You can begin to put up a boundary between you and them that doesn't let the hooks dig into you as much. You can learn to focus on yourself rather than on other people's problems. Of course, if someone is being abusive to you start working on a plan to take care of and protect yourself. Start talking to someone about it.

"Even though I'm afraid to talk to anyone about my situation, I love and accept myself."

"Even though I've been hurt and feel stuck and am afraid I'll get hurt again, I love and accept myself."

It's amazing how tapping will help your mind shift into healthier thinking and help you take healthier actions. Take baby steps. Take nano steps if you have to. But keep moving.

Do you take disapproval and criticism very hard? Have you been accused of being too sensitive and emotional as if it's a bad thing? Do you feel nervous around certain family members or critical people?

"Even though I am sensitive and emotional, I love and accept myself just the way I am."

"Even though I feel afraid of critical people, I love and accept myself."

If you have been tapping on these issues, it's time to start asking yourself, "Now, what would I rather have instead?" And start tapping on that new choice after each tapping round.

Do you feel guilty when you do something for yourself?

"Even though I feel guilt when I take good care of myself or don't feel I deserve to treat myself better, I love and accept myself."

"I now choose to feel free and innocent and that it's perfectly fine to take good care of myself. From now on I take better care of myself."

When you start setting boundaries, you may feel awkward at first but you know, as an adult, you have the right to change your mind - even without explaining yourself to anyone.

You can stand firm in just saying, "I've changed my mind." period.

You are not obligated to give answers. You can also say, "I prefer....this or that." "I prefer not to get into this discussion."

You are only obligated to take care of your own needs and your business.

If you volunteer for something you can "unvolunteer" yourself by changing your mind. You can say you have something else to do or simply say you've changed your mind, if you need to, you can say something like, "I'm really sorry but it's just not going to work out for me this time."

When you get in panic mode, tap.

Tap while saying a prayer. Tap while saying the Serenity Prayer.

Tap for strength. Tap for guidance.

Tap for peace.

When a guilt trip is thrown at you, you don't have to take it to heart, you can just take it as a sign that the other person has issues and is reacting. They will even get used to it if you stick to your guns. You will begin to care less and less about what other people think about you as you continue tapping on your worst fears and deepest shame.

If you do decide to set a boundary and take care of yourself better instead, and you feel terrible about it later and guilty and shameful, acknowledge it, tap on it while you're feeling it, it will subside.

Don't go running back to people for forgiveness and end up doing more stuff for them for their approval. Tap on that anxiety first and see what happens.

Don't let anyone talk down to you or talk you down or talk you in or out of something. You can just say, "No, thanks. Have a nice day, gotta go." And walk away.

You can wait and do nothing and listen to your intuition.

Take care of yourself first just this afternoon, just for the rest of today, just for today. Just for an hour put your needs first, they deserve your attention too.

Connect with friends who encourage you to take care of yourself, all else will fall into place.

When you feel trapped, ask yourself what two choices do you feel trapped between? Then ask yourself where did you get only those two choices? Ask yourself what other choices might you have.

What other choices might someone else have in your situation? What would a rebel teenager say about your situation? What would a protective social worker or cop say? What would a wise teacher say? What would a fair, impartial judge say?

What does a brave adventurer say? What about a person with lots of tools, what would they say?

All these people are inside of you and more.

What does your wise self say?

What does your recovery part say?

What would your sponsor or coach say?

Just ask. When you put your fears and problems into questions and ask yourself these types of questions, your brain automatically goes searching for an answer. Sometimes it's easier to give support and advice to someone else than to yourself. So what if someone came to you with the problem you are having and they asked you for your help? What would you say or do for them? That is a good insight to what you can give yourself.

"Even though it's easier to help others than it is to help myself, I love and accept myself."

"Even though I'm afraid and I don't know what to do, I love and accept myself."

Give yourself permission to have choices. Allow yourself to hope but not expect.
Remember, regardless of what other people do or say, your life will continue on with little impact of what others choose to do with their life. Can always choose to let it go.

You can always start your day over.

You can Tap your way to Emotional Freedom, one day at a time.

If your are like me and are tired of the same old codependency books that just tell you how you got it, what the symptoms are and not much else on what to really DO about it to finally clear away the emotional triggers and pattern behaviors - then learn EFT - Energy Tapping and you can start getting clear tonight.

See my free report and my new book I wrote "EFT for Codependency Recovery" at

JP Bailey, MA
Emotional Freedom Coach

Thursday, June 10, 2010



YES, you can recover from NPD Parents!
First of all you need to learn about recovery and what recovery really is. There is 12 step recovery and then there is therapy and then there is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT \"Tapping on Emotional Issues to Clear Them\") and there is the recovery model in the mental health field.
There are stages to your recovery: First you realize something is wrong and you go about searching for answers. Then you discover what NPD is and it is a devastating stage to go through as it is like losing a parent that never existed in the first place. Seek support from someone who will listen and validate you and not deny your reality. It is extremely hard to find someone who can supportively listen to someone talk negatively about a parent to the extent of never wanting to speak to your parent ever again. This is shocking to people who had loving parents. Thus, your reality is invalidated which causes further injury, emotional abandonment and rejection. Then one may look further to either find a therapist who \"gets it\" or to seek your own kind - to see if there are any other adult children of NPD parents.
The sad yet good news is that there are many of us out there and they are forming online support groups more and more. Just do a Google search on what you are looking for, like \"narcissistic parent forums\" or something like that and do some research. If you found your way here, you know enough to do some searches.
There you will find support and MOST IMPORTANTLY - VALIDATION. It is the one major thing we did not have growing up, we had no voice, we had no boundaries, we had no loving care and our reality was invalidated so much we were left not knowing what to believe, even our own gut intuition. Thus we had to guess at what normal is. And so forth.
Then the next stage of recovery once you have found your \"tribe\" is the stage of just being able to finally talk about it, hear how others are talking about it, hear how others are dealing with it, etc. etc. This is a bittersweet stage but it can bring a sense of a new freedom and renewed hope. You get what you never had - support, validation, listening. It's like the family you never had. You may not like everyone but you know they \"get it\" and that forms a special bond that helps repair the fact that you had a mother/father who could not bond.
When you start to get the feeling that you are starting to get tired of hearing all the venting and complaining and realizing that the focus is still on the NPD person, past or present you may be one of the lucky ones to look for further recovery. There is more than just being validated and seeing how wicked and bad the NPD is. That is when you begin to look at you.
This can be done in therapy and or via 12 Step, say Alanon or Codependency type recovery or Adult Children type of recovery. It's not really enough, but close enough. Some of them don't really \"get it\" either because their focus is on alcoholism of course and most people in society don't even know what a Personality Disorder is. But if you take the Pro-Active suggestions for SELF-CARE you will be recovering. You will be recovering yourself and your self-neglect behaviors that you internalized from having a parent that programmed you to love them but not yourself.
Self-Care is extremely important - I can't emphasize this enough. Why? Because when you take care of yourself and all your needs :
(1.) you are providing what you did not get as a child and
(2.) you are experiencing what you did not get as a child. There is a healing magic in that experience.
OK, back to recovery. There is also The Recovery Model which is relatively new and it's in the Mental Health field and it's about Wellness. So you can search for WRAP - Wellness Recovery Action Plans. Basically it's about self-care to stay well and knowing your triggers and red-flags and having wellness/healthy strategies in dealing with them, new ways. This is great because you are creating your own individualized recovery program. Your recovery can include going to 12 step or other support type meetings - support for emotional abuse, childhood abuse, relationship abuse, etc. etc. Your recovery can include working the 12 Steps which is really about taking a look at yourself and stop blaming the NPD for all your problems which in turn helps empower you to make changes to be more in control of your life and your reactions and not feel like a helpless victim anymore.
Once in Recovery, alot of emotions come up naturally. The best, easiest, painless, fastest way I have found - and I've been looking for a good 20 years now - is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). They don't call it Emotional Freedom for nothing. It truly helps relieve you of distressful, intense feelings and the body sensations that go along with them when you are triggered and upset. All those fears and anxieties, all the regrets and resentments, the rage, the deep sadness and pain, all the stuff you put up with, all the sick dysfunctional relationships you wasted your love and energy and time on - ALL of these things can be "Tapped" on. You Tap on acupuncture points while feeling the distressful feeling - you don't even have to get all the way into the feeling, you don't have to have a breakdown or breakthrough or whatever, and you don't even need to analyze or figure it out and all that. All you have to do is tap and your body relaxes, the emotion subsides and your brain then naturally sort of processes the issue and you feel like it's behind you now.
You can learn EFT for FREE right from the source at where it's creator Gary Craig offers a FREE manual of how to learn it - it's really very easy, you just memorize about 12 tapping spots, and the site has hundreds of pages of examples and tips etc. all free. So why not use it on NPD Parent Recovery issues? You can use it on anything. You can also search YouTube for videos showing you how to use EFT.
So that brings us to the final stage of recovery which is basically getting a life and living it for the rest of your life. It is about creating your life the way you want it, self-care, learning how to socialize with the good people, learning what to do with your triggers and issues, learning what you enjoy in your life, taking actions that are positive and have positive experiences and results for you. And therein lies the recovery life - you do things that give you a positive experience. Notice I said DO things - you don't wait until you "feel like it" or until you are recovered or healed enough or until your depression goes away or whatever, you are pro-active and you take action and you just do it like Nike says.
You can Tap you can read spiritual and recovery material, you can pray, you can work the 12 Steps, you can devise a WRAP, you can go to therapy, you can read books on your disorders, you can express yourself in groups or in journals, but until you begin to IMPLEMENT healthy actions into your life not much can or will change for you. Why? Well, what the heck do you think you are recovering? You are recovering your life and yourself. It's more than what you are recovering from; it's what you are recovering to. What are you moving toward? What action can you take today that will make you feel good, valued, special, loved, healthy, well? What are you even like when you are well? What actions do you have to take every day to stay well? Every week or month or once in awhile? Because if you did not take these actions what would happen?
You would relapse, whatever relapse means to you. You can relapse into old behaviors, old ways of thinking, depressions, fears, addictions, isolating, etc. You know how you've been dealing with the affects of NPD - the best way you could given that you had no knowledge or resources. But now you do have knowledge and resources and though you were not in any way responsible for what happened to you, you are responsible for yourself and your life and your recovery now and for the rest of your life. So you might as well make the best of it.
Recovery is the reward for all your hard work my friends. Recovery is more than the absence of pain, it is the new freedom and joy of life that you never even knew you could ever have. It's new friends, its peace and serenity; it's what you make it and many surprises along the way as well. Life will not always be great, no one said you are exempt from further traumas, tragedies, illnesses, hurts, losses, etc. life is still life, the good and the bad - but - you don't have to trudge it alone and you have tools now to help you get through.
Then when you are there, you will turn and look and see how far you have come and you will see and know that there are so many more out there still suffering that you may want to share your recovery with others so that they too have a shot at this thing.
Lastly, one huge aspect of NPD recovery for adult children is the topic of relationships. It's not bad enough we had NPD parents, but guess what? We get to have all the fun of marrying them and working for them and having them as best friends and the like until we have hit our bottom so to speak and take a look at why we are always victim to them, attracting them or attracted to them in some unconscious way. This is a big part of the recovery process, too much to write about here, but it includes taking a look at what you were thinking when you first met the N's in your life, and challenging beliefs you have about yourself (I'm too damaged, Healthy people are boring, I can fix him, I'll be rewarded for all my sacrifice, I can get approval from her, and finally I will be alright then.) When this survival plan does not work it is a devastating place to be in. You've tried your upmost best, given all of yourself and all of your prime years, your energy, time and money into trying to make these relationships work. Of course you did, you were programmed from the cradle to do so. It's ok that you did this, but now it's time to take a look at it and learn about choices you have, learn new ways of being in the world, new ways of relating to others, etc. And the reward is real, supportive and loving relationships in your life. Don't be surprised if this takes a bit of getting used to. You're not used to love and support. But my friends, you deserve it. You have been giving it your whole life - just imagine someone like yourself giving that love to you. Hopefully you are smiling with tears in your eyes right now because I am. I am smiling because This response to the question "Can we recover" is the result of my recovery and I'm so grateful I have so much to give to you. Stop by and visit me some time, I'm working on a website to do more of this - give recovery tips and teach people to Tap for emotional freedom, healing and growth. I call it RecoveryTapping (dot com). It will be a work in progress so more will be added to it over time. I might just post this whole answer there as well.
I ran away from home at 14 and was in and out of foster and group homes. I've been on my own since age 17 and went to community colleges because I was so interested in psychology to try and figure out what the hell is going on here. Is she crazy or am I? That question led to a life time of social work and a Master's degree in Psychology. I attend 12 step meetings, I've done some great therapy and some not so great and since 2002 I've been Tapping my problems away to a new life. I tap on my fears when I want to take a healthy risk. I practice self-care and take recovery actions on a regular basis. So my recovery has been a combination of these things, and your recovery will be a combination of things that will work for you. Take what you can use and disregard the rest.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

What is Codependency?

What is Codependency?

A dysfunctional relationship with yourself.

An absence of self-defense.

A result of not living your passions.

Focusing on others and their happiness and hoping that they will focus on you and your happiness.


An addiction to focusing on others which in turn distracts you from yourself.

Making others responsible for your peace of mind which depends on if they are drinking or using or not, or for that matter, cheating on you or not, blowing money without your knowledge or not. And all the other things that users, losers and abusers do to codependents.

Being hyper-sensative to others inconsiderate and selfish behavior.

Not taking care of yourself.

Ask a codependent person how they are doing and they usually answer with, "Well, he did such and such", or "She's driving me crazy, you won't believe what she did this time." In other words they don't say "I" as in "I'm scared or feeling blue" or "I'm working my recovery program and am dealing with painful emotions, but all in all things are going ok."

Ask a codpendent person, "Why do you stay with him/her"? And they are likely to answer, "Well, he really needs me". "I don't think he can make it without me". "He has no where else to go". "She dependes on me and deep down really loves me".

Again, not one thing about themselves or how they feel or what they really want.

At times you have to ask a codependent person two or three times, "What do you want?" to get to the real answer. But once they stop and think it over they almost always know the right answer for themselves, it's like they are hiding it, or feel they have to fix the other person first.

Questions that codependents can practice asking themselves on a daily basis. "How do I feel?" "What do I need?" "What do I want?" "What would make me happy?" "Is this good for me?"

Statements that codependents can practice telling themselves on a daily basis. "I'm ok." "I'm enough." "I'm good enough." "I love and accept myself exactly the way I am."

At one time or another, everyone exhibits some codependent behaviors – behaviors that you do because you think you are responsible for someone else out of guilt, obligation or fear, or you feel someone else is to blame or responsible for you, or a certain feeling or a situation in your life.

No one exhibits all of them all the time, however some people are more codependent with certain people but not all people, or exhibit more or less of these behaviors over time.

Codependency is a survival plan as a result of childhood abuse or neglect. It is a set of rules or decisions that children develope to make life more bearable and livable. Or to emotionally survive the chaos and confusion and to accept the denial that there was nothing wrong. Children learn unhealthy behaviors in order to deal with their caretaker's drama and while trying to survive. They often grow up feeling responsible to make others happy and try desperately to get the love they need.

Neglect is the most harmful thing to happen to a child. Infants can die without affection even if they are fed and otherwise taken care of.

Although they may have helped you survive childhood, these behaviors and survival strategies do not work in adulthood to get adult needs met. Adults have more control of the environment and their actions. These old, outdated actions and beliefs need to be 'upgraded' or completely changed. Otherwise the adult is living their life based on a 5 or an 8 year-old's decisions.

Creating pain, breakdown and eventaually hitting bottom and other addictions along the way, is what it usually takes for a codpenednet person to try another way and seek some sort of help.

How do we get here? We realize it in a rude awakening. A wake up call that being codependent just doesn't work anymore. Your "pain killers" aren't working anymore, ie. helping others, overeating, avoiding life, neglecting self, shutting down, etc.

When the choices seem to run out, one may be open to try recovery and tapping to change and grow as a person and learning to change your relationships and your lifestyle in the process.

It's an exciting time of renewal and renewed hope and transformation where your life can begin again.

Tapping significantly decreases the emotional impact of the hard work of dealing with your emotional issues. It takes the charge out and can save you years of therapy.

Recovery growth and change works. Because recovery focuses on the solution to the problem (you, your choices and behaviors) and takes the focus off the other person and changes it into concern and care for yourself - what you have needed all along.

Growth is a natural maturing process that you would do anyway if it were not for the blocks in your way and the ghosts in your mental closet holding you back.

Growing up involves leaving home, emotionally and physically, harnessing the lessons you have learned from your mistakes and changing your actions to show concern for yourself. Reflecting on these new lessons and changing behaviors from codependency to wellness can be the most important gift you can give to yourself.

Tapping in recovery makes this alot easier, faster and longer lasting.

Increasing wellness over time with daily recovery decreases the pain when you use Tapping to help soothe the feelings that come up in recovery. Here are some traits, symptoms or characteristics of depression and codependent feelings that are behind many codependent behaviors. They are a collection of causes, thoughts, feelings and actions all having to do with codependency. My suggestion to you is to choose those that you can relate to and do a full Tapping Round on each one and then do some Short-Cut Rounds of Tapping on anything else that comes to mind while you are clearning these codependency energies that have been stuck for a long time.

Happy Tapping! Never heard of EFT/Tapping? See my report "How to Tap" with Diagrams and Directions.

EVEN THOUGH, (fill in the symptoms that you relate to below), I LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF.


I never seem to enjoy things as much as I used to
I feel I’m getting nowhere no matter what I do
I don’t have strong interest in things I’m doing
My life seems to be aimless
I find it difficult to believe in anything
What I do is pretty useless
I don’t know what to do with myself
I feel all alone in the world
I don’t feel very productive
I prefer to be by myself and isolate
I find it hard to make decisions without someone’s approval
I do my best work when I feel I’ll be appreciated
I’d rather follow than lead
Pleasing others is very important to me
Disapproval by someone close to me is painful for me
The idea of losing a relationship terrifies me
I’m quick to agree with other’s opinions
I’d be lost if I didn’t have someone special
It’s hard for me to ask someone for a favor
I’m easily discouraged when I don’t get what I need from others
I’m never happier than when others tell me I did a good job
It’s hard to make up my mind until I know what other people think
In social situations I’m very self conscious
I have trouble making decisions
I tend to expect too much from myself
I'm very hard on myself
I feel I never get all that I need from other people
I’m often afraid I won’t do the right thing and invite disapproval
What people think of me really affects me
I desperately need love and support
I’d be helpless if I were deserted
I fear I’ll lose the love and support of others if I make a mistake


After Tapping the above statments that fit for you, ask yourself what you would rather have instead and create some new choices to install by Tapping them into your energy system.

Write down, "I now choose to do, be, have, feel ___________". One by one Tap in each new positive choice to fill the void left after tapping away the negative.

Take a nice deep breath and drinks lots of water, take a walk, watch your posture and keep your energy moving.

To Your Recovery!
JP Bailey, MA
Emotional Freedom Coach

Monday, February 1, 2010

What is Tapping?

What is Tapping?

Tapping is a miracle if you ask me. Nothing else compares, even EMDR, which was revolutionary in healing post-traumatic stress disorder in vietnam veterans and later with childhood abuse healing.

Tapping on just 9 - 14 Acupucture points clears out the blocks of energy stuck in your energy system where emotions and unresolved issues have been stuck.

Tapping is Energy Psychology, EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Energy Therapy, Energy Medicine, Meridian Energy Therapy or Meridian Energy Tapping, or simply tapping on the acupucture meridian end points.

(But there are also some non-Tapping Energy Healing methods out there like the Emotrance and Therapeutic Touch and others. But back to Tapping for now.)

Did you know that each Acupuncture Meridian has an Emotional component to it?

Acupuncture traditionally heals pain and physical problems by stimulating the energy meridian to flow.

When Energy flows, it flushes out the stuck energy blocks that were being held in the body. This also helps flush out the stuck emotional energy blocks.

Why were they held there? When abused, or in a trauma, we go into a Stress Reaction, we hold our breath, brace ourselves and tighten up. Feelings then can freeze and can stay stuck like that for years.

Tapping acupuncture points melts it away. It relaxes the body and kicks in the Calming Reflex, (what we naturally return to when a stressor is over) and therefore the body and emotions relaxe. When the body relaxes we naturally breath deeper and we soften as well as energize in a very gentle, safe way.

When we continue Tapping, the energy in our body's energy system starts to flow better.

So if you 'tune into" a fear while Tapping, the physical reaction of fear and the mental associations of that fear and the emotional reaction of that fear all get cleared away within minutes and you feel relief.

My goal is to help "Tapping" become a household word. Everyone should know the magic at their fingertips that can help with all life's little aggravations and major events. Tapping calms us down but also makes us stronger. We have more energy and more empowerment when blocked energy is released. We are less vulnerable to the old emotional triggers, or they vanish completely in many cases.

The website Tapping( has some videos that you can follow along with for free right now. I don't know the guy who runs that site, but I like his videos. His site is great for basic Tapping. But I want to have a Recovery Tapping site to really Tap into the healing that is available now. So, remember Tapping but also don't forget Recovery Tapping!

To Your Recovery
JP Bailey, MA

Friday, January 29, 2010

What is Recovery?


Depends who you ask.

There are as many answers to that as there are people in it. At last count I read that there were 13 million people "in recovery", but, I have no idea how they figured out that number or where I even read it a few years ago.

What amazes me about all the people (and clients) that have shared their recovery with me, it still amazes me how some recovery 'groups' are likened to religion - that theirs is the only one that works and none of the other ones are real.

We have all learned alot over the last 20 years.


There is recovery from an accident, recovery from drugs & alcohol, recovery from child abuse, recovery from rape, recovery from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), there's recovery and rehab, recovery from illness, recovery from losing a loved one, etc.


12 Step Anonymous Groups refers to itself as a Recovery Program for addictions.

A very new movement that is full of empowering tools calls itself S.M.A.R.T. Recovery or Self-Management And Recovery Training. An alternative or in addition to 12 Step.

Rational Recovery is another group that says it is an alternative to 12 step.

Narc-anon is another. (NOT to be confused with Nar-Anon which is 12 step).

There's that new book on TV that claims to cure alcholism and addiction. Has anyone bought that? I wonder if that works.

There are other types of recovery out there, like Caregivers Support Groups and N.A.M.I. the National Alliance of Mental Illness. They have all sorts of free recovery tools right on their websites.

There are all sorts of community support websites out there, I've been compliling a list I can't even keep track of anymore. As with anything you want to learn more about, google* it or go to Wikipedia* or Bling it.


Examples of 12 Step Anonymous Support Groups are:
Alcohol Anonymous
Narcotics Anonymous
Adult Children of Alcoholics
Overeaters Anonymous
Gamblers Anonymous

Mental Health Recovery for depression, schizophrenia and anxiety disorders are using Tools such as the W.R.A.P. that is helping thousands recover from these and more serious conditions of all types.

So guess which Recovery this blog is talking about?

All of the above.

Recovery + Tapping = Hope and Relief.

To Your Recovery!
J.P. Bailey, MA

Thursday, January 14, 2010

New Book!!!

I just want to let my recovery friends and fellow tappers that I'm almost done with my book. It's taken me awhile to get it done. I should blog about it. Anyway, it's coming, I almost hate to promise (it's scary), but it should be out February 2010.

The title of my book is:

"Emotional Freedom Techniques for Codependency Recovery" - How to Use Meridian Energy Tapping for Abuse and Codependency.

You can find it at

The best blogs start at the end...I'll be posting more Recovery Tapping info soon and then more regularly again.

Happy New Year to Everyone!!!