Friday, April 15, 2016

Welcome to Recovery Tapping - Tap Out of Fear and Into Choices

Just got home from work. I have the biggest case load I've ever had, like crazy big, but so far so good because I'm good at it after all these years and it keeps me busy.  It helps me get better at using my counseling and people skills.

But I'm not perfect. I still learn lessons in humility. Like today, I had to apologize to basically everyone at the staff meeting, for being so negative, and rude even, at the last staff meeting. I said I was sorry for making them uncomfortable or stressed because I was upset. So we're good.

Moving on I'm too busy to ruminate about it too much. I owned it. It sucked at first. But after I owned it, a few days later, I embraced it. And it felt good to feel part of the human race, so to speak. We all have to be humble and treat others nicely.  And, besides, these are my buddies and we all get along and are all busy, and this was the first time since I been there that I let some of the "old me" out. But I was too mean about it when I said it.  I can still say it, just lighten it up.  Because I have no right to take it out on someone else, even if "its their fault" I feel this way.  IOW, I can voice my discontent in a respectful way.

Lighten up.

Don't be so serious.

Don't be so dramatic.

Calm down, its not that big of deal.

Yeah, right.  I can remember years, no, decades ago now, as I am now in my wise ol' 50's, I can say that. But I remember long ago going off and staying mad for a long-ass time for feeling hurt or treated badly or not taken seriously.  What a charge in my chest I would feel. All the things that would run through my head. It would make me sort of freeze to even figure out; "now what should I do?" I would do the best I could. And then I'd spend hours talking, writing and thinking on it and going through a full gamut of emotional feelings and states that it was like I took a bath in dopamine and adrenaline.  I'd be high for days off them emotions.  Trying to work things out ... Always deep in my head and feeling deep in my heart, not knowing half the time what it was I was suppose to DO about any of it.

Just follow the golden rule. Always come back to that as your center. As part of your natural state.

If you find yourself veering off into meanness or anger or even bullying, get past it fast, deal with your anger, be humble, own it and then get back to following the golden rule.

Don't beat yourself up for it.

That's the beauty of owing it. It dissipates faster, and easier.

Especially with a secret weapon I keep in my back pocket called 'somatic mindfulness' to deal with the charge in my chest or the intensity of a body sensation or a pressure in my head. Which in turn heals the entire issue or your intense reaction to it.  So that you can get over it faster.

And move on. And that's a real FREEDOM that is golden to have, my friend.

To be able to take intense feelings and tune into the body sensation aspect of it and just see where it is, and maybe like what shape it is.

That's it. That's all that is required for some cool, thinking-person's mindfulness to begin.

You feel it.

You tune in.

You put your attention on your body for a sec and notice where you feel it.

Now run through the senses..., like:

You see it, what shape is it.

You can sense its weight.

You can sense its temperature if you go check it out

You can heal what it sounds like if you just pause and listen..

By the time you get there, your body is already calmer and
you are in a mindfulness, meditative, Inner, aware state.

But calm and relaxed.

Not all escalating and ruminating and making it bigger and bigger because you don't get heard.

Or you want it validated. Or you want to understand it, or share it or whatever. That's understandable.

But we've got a lot of build up from years and years, so its OK now to let some of those triggers and charges go. Let them heal by tuning into them and seeing them. Paying attention to them.

Energy psychologists would call that body sensation your energy.

Doesn't matter if you tune into an upset or tune into the where you feel the energy of it, its still tuning in.

And that's what you gotta do to heal and grow. Tune in.

Meditate. I find somatic meditating easier because my mind wanders and I don't see the point, or the goal. When I focus on a body sensation, its super easy and fast to go within. Just by describing it with my inner senses.

Do the mindfulness thing.

This is the way that works for me.

A Transactional psychologist might say that is a Part of you acting up or a Part of you trying to communicate something to you.

That works too.

So back to going within to tune into the body sensation.
You now can see the shape, color, weight, temperature and sound of a body energy feeling, and you realize its a part of you that is communicating to you... so you say, "Great. Hi Part of me. Are you willing to communicate with me?"

And just wait.

Until you get a sort of feeling one way or other. You get a "yes" feeling or you're leaning into a "no" feeling.

Doesn't matter.

If it says "no". Fine. Tell it 'thank you' and move on to step two.

Step two is where you now tune into the most empowering, healing states humans have that I'll list below.  You say each one and pause, and when you pause you feel that word you feel your version of each word. Because at some point in your life you have felt each one of these feeling words.   You just tune into that what it feels to you, the best you can feel it.  This creates or invites in your creative, resourceful part or inner mind to be present so you can come back to your center there, as well as, move forward from there making better decisions from that standpoint and feeling no more intense charge as well, its a healing state that needs to grow forward.  so grow forward in these fine states:

Tune in now to your...
strength... pause
faith... pause
centeredness... pause
energy... pause
gratitude ..., pause.
compassion....pause... *compassion for yourself for having to go through all these hard times, and compassion for others in general.

OK, now that you've accessed your positive, natural, resourceful state, what are you going to do next moving forward?

Pause and wait for what pops up in your mind when you ask yourself that question.

Your inner mind has your answers. When you get an answer, go and do that, and have a basic routine you can return to and keep on living your life, until, the next time you get a charge.

Then pause and repeat this technique to quiet it down and contain it and heal it yourself by going within with it.

There's a lot more you can do with that, but its extra stuff for psych nerds. Its not needed to get the main benefit out of this Peace Procedure, as Christian Michelson calls this type of technique.

A NLP expert would recognize the questions for going in to do a 're-frame' or a basic 'swish technique' that used to cure phobias and help people with all kinds of things.

And s/he may go into the whole "Parts" therapy piece. But I never heard of them using it to them heal one of intense emotional upsets.

Using it as an emotional regulation tool.

I have found EFT/Tapping, and these other non-tapping techniques to be huge advantages and nifty tools to have in healing all sorts of trauma and negative feelings and thinking and even beliefs.

Although with beliefs, I go deeper into the 'Parts' thing because its related to our self-identity.

Its a whole identity we take on.

And to deal with that you need for it to be able to communicate with another Part of you. And the transformation takes place within that interaction.

So there's no right or wrong. Just the act of paying attention to your body or within your own self but in a new way.

A way that is subconscious. If you try to do it in a conscious way, your conscious mind can't help but  analye and judge the content. Which is mucking it all up and going into the "on and on" of it. It's very chatty, the conscious mind, the critical mind.

Don't mind the content.

Just accept it and think of it as neutral. Because that's not what this technique is about.

This is extrememly effortless and easy to do when you tune into the body sensation and not the thinking about a problem.

So find where you feel it in your body and attend to it.
Then call up your resourceful state of mind, just as easy as you can recall an upset state of mind, and let the two Parts communicate and help each other out. That's what they want. That's what they are good at doing.

And watch the healing begin and feel the relief within!

To Your Recovery & Emotional Healing,

- J.P.Bailey, MA, EFT-CC Emotional Freedom Coach

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