Saturday, September 3, 2016

10 Fears Every Codependent Needs To Know, And the EFT Tapping To Fix Them

10 Fears Every Codependent Needs To Know, And the EFT Tapping Tips To Fix Them

During a session with a woman struggling with an abusive husband, she asked me, "As far as that acupressure thing you do, do you rub the points and manipulate them to work better, or what?"

 I said, "No. Actually, you use your fingers to Tap on each acupuncture point. ….Like tapping on a window to get someone's attention…"

 ".....But the trick is to have in mind what you are upset about while you Tap so you can tell if it worked or not".

 "Do you have any issues you want to try Tapping on?

She says she's been trying to lose weight. But she ate donuts for breakfast this morning and was still feeling guilty about it.

So I said, "First, let's Tap on the feelings of guilt so you see how this works, and then we'll go from there.  

"OK", she said.

So, first we Tapped on Guilt.  I asked her on a SUDs scale of 1 to 10 how much guilt she had - and she said it was a "9".

We did 1 full-round and got it down to a "7", and then did a short-cut and got down to a "3".

 She felt "over it".  

 Just to make sure, I said, "Think back to this morning, you should be ashamed of yourself for eating all those donuts".

 She was calm, "Yeah, but it doesn't bother me anymore".

Perfect. This is how I like to see my clients "get it"; by experience.

She said now that the guilt was gone she did have this other issue in her head. 

I asked her, "How does that issue make you feel?"

 She answered, "Irritated and angry!"  She went on to tell the story…

"I gave him a ride to the airport for a business trip where he'd be gone for over 2 weeks. We were stuck there waiting for 4 hours. And, instead of spending those last few hours with me, he was on his phone the whole time with his friends, some of them female, thanking them for all their support. But I was the one all along helping him get this job, and I was the one who drove for hours and did everything to get him ready, but I had to just sit there doing nothing."

 I asked, "On a scale of 1 to 10, irritated and angry you are"? 

She said, "9".

So we Tapped on anger.  She went from a "9" down to a "5" and then down to a "3".

During those rounds, I taught her "Freestyle Tapping", where you Tap on each point and say whatever comes to mind, and really get into it.

She even laughed a little during the Freestyle Tapping. There's something funny about 2 women Tapping on themselves while saying, "..that mother-****  ass &%^&*"  "I'm so (*&*) pissed right now"!!  It's a huge relief to get that all out.

We discussed what fears were behind her guilt and we came up with:

10 Fears Codependents In Abusive Relationships Have To TAP On:

- Fear of feeling worthless
- Fear of feeling abandoned, unwanted
- Fear of being a failure or at fault
- Fear of leaving ex-asshole and then he changes for the better and finds someone else
- Fear of staying with ex and being strung along for another 5 years.
- Fear she is wrong
- Fear she did something wrong
- Fear it was all her fault, fear she failed at fixing it or being good enough
- Fear she would breakdown or have an uncontrollable outburst and embarrass herself
- Fear of being socially ridiculed/looked down on, for such a huge mistake in judgment.

Know that there are thousands of women going through the same thing right now, tapping on their issues, on their way of renewing their (love) life.  I know one more, and I have a feeling she is going to be feeling and doing a lot better by the next time I see her.

Please SHARE using Social Media Buttons Below.  There's someone out there would will appreciate you for it.

Thank you!
JP Bailey, M.A.

Interested  in EFT for Codependency Recovery?
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