Sunday, September 18, 2016

How To Create An Abusive Relationship History Chart To See Patterns You Want To Change By Tapping On Abuse Issues

How To Create An Abusive Relationship History Chart To See Patterns You Want To Change By Tapping On Abuse Issues OR

How To Date In A NEW Way By Tapping On Your Relationship History Issues First
EFT Tapping To Find Your Soulmate

Relationship Help - Fill out My Relationship History Chart and TAP on Your Patterns.

Here's how to find a good partner, in general.

Step 1: Do a relationship history chart & Tap on Patterns (see Relationship History Chart HERE).

Step 2: Make a list of what you really want in a partner

Step 3: Make a list of what you really don't want in a partner, ever again

Step 4: Date

Step 5: Rate Your Dates

Rate Your Dates means comparing your impression of each date to your lists in Steps 2 & 3. Having basic rules if they have a 'don't want' characteristic - stop dating that one, tell them sorry, you're not really interested/you met someone else/you're getting back with your ex, don't worry about saying No. See below for more phrases to memorize if you need to hang up and move on to the next date. Get more picky about who you want to go out with.
Keep dating the ones that have your 'wants'.

But look for 5 dates before you pick one to date for awhile. You need to have practice dating and rating. Don't just go find one and try to work all this on. That's what you used to do. It didn't work. (Refer to your Relationship History Chart). You are now willing to try a new way of dating because:

a) you're sick and tired of the old way
b) it's worth it to find good partners
c) your future partner will be glad you did

 So give yourself a chance, its fun, try dating in a new way for awhile.

Other than that, just live life. If you don't know how to date, read any dating book you are drawn to for ideas. Just date.  After each date, you got to rate the guy/gal against your 2 lists of wants and don't wants. You Tap on it and get used to rating each date. That's your data you need to find the one you want and skip all the ones you don't want anymore, right?

If he has any of the 'don't wants', don't go out with them anymore. Go out with the next person.

Date for fun and pleasure and the enjoyment of the company and being treated and taken out. Enjoy going out.

Q: What if the ones that have my 'don't wants' call and ask me out again?
A: Say, Thanks, but I'm really not interested.
Pause... silence.
They'll say something like, "K, cool" and hang up.
If not, you can. If they ask 'why' don't answer that more than once, "you're just not my type". If he doesn't hang up by now, you can say, "Gotta run,  Bye." and just hang up.
Period. Life is short.

(If that sounds scary to you then TAP on that feeling first, ok?)

Think of dating like going on a lot of job interviews. You know you'll have several and then from that get a couple good offers and then from there you can decide which one you want to take for awhile.

So try and date 5-10 people over the next year.  Practice being social and meeting more people so you have more people to go out with. Make friends along the way too. Go out and live your life and be open.

You're not looking for a relationship.  You're dating.  Some of us never got a chance to do regular, "normal" dating before.  Now is your chance.  It's fun and it builds your confidence and self-esteem and besides, you deserve to be treated nice and dates are awesome for being treated nicely.

If they are not nice. Next!

In the end, you have to decide what you want and start looking for it in people. You need some experience doing it.  It's a life long skill. Even if you get married you'll always be rating new friends to make sure they are the kinds of friends you really want. And be nice to people.

Be yourself. Tap on the rest.

Just face it and Tap daily on anything and everything.  Every issue that comes up, just Tap on it and keep going along on your path, keep moving forward, turn the next corner, turn the page, move on and focus on your wants, your goals and your calling and your Wellness, include social support and self-care and you're on your way.

We learn from our mistakes.

But first we have to take a good look at them.

See my "Relationship History" Post Instructions & Video HERE:  Check it Out


 It's worth it.

I took my own advice above and found Mr Right-for-Me in just 9 months of using my "Dating & Rating" system, and we've been together 8 years now.  Here's a picture of us 5 years ago in San Diego, CA.

Welcome to Recovery Tapping - Tap Out of Fear and Into Choices - J.P.Bailey, MA, EFT-CC Emotional Freedom Coach

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